the truth about growing up

I spent the better part of my teenage years (and my college years) dreading 'growing up.' My 18th birthday was nothing more than another year, a year that I didn't feel any more like an adult. With each candle added to my cake, I found myself Peter Panning more and more, clinging to my youth as much as possible.

At 22 I found myself graduated, unemployed, and lost to an indescribable degree. I never looked forward to entering the 'real world' and, consequently, didn't adequately prepare myself for it.

It's been a year and I am now looking forward to the 'real world' as much as ever. What happened?
I started by asking myself why.

Why was I so afraid or in denial to grow up?
For me, I thought growing up meant becoming dull. I thought it meant never having fun again. I thought it meant that I'd become this robot, a shell of the vivacious and easy-going person I think myself to be. I focused so much on what being an adult wasn't instead of what it was.

'Growing up' is a part of life, a part to be embraced, a part of your life where you become a more developed, wiser, truer version of yourself. No one said growing up means you have to lose your child-like nature. It doesn't mean your creativity has to be stifled. It doesn't mean you have to forfeit everything you know and love.

Stop wasting time digging your heels in the ground - lift your feet and fly!

Explore. Learn. Grow...up :)

xoxo erikah

growing up

I've been putting off growing up for as long as I can remember.

Flashback to this past summer: I was 22, a recent grad, and had no idea where my life was going. I had a lot of ideas, but nothing I was too sure about. Without any specific direction, I was terrified of entering the corporate world as this small town girl who was so unsure of herself.

When I originally went to college, I wanted to pursue film - I had high hopes of becoming an editor or something of the like. By sophomore year, all of my intentions were in the rear-view mirror and I hadn't a clue of what I wanted to do. I ended up graduating with a degree in public relations, which I loved, but even when I took on the major, I never fully expected to get a job in that field. PR, by itself, wasn't something I full-hearted loved.

I have been very fortunate to have a year off between undergrad and *hopefully* grad school (in the application process!) and it really has allowed me to discover myself. I know a lot of people my age who "never want to grow up" and I really think this fear stems from not knowing what you want to do with your life, which essentially stems from not knowing yourself well enough. I think too many people settle into a job that is financially satisfying or beneficial in another way (work hours, time off, etc) but doesn't fully entice them emotionally... which is so important.

You should use everyday of your life to reflect and grow. If you don't like your major today, why wait until tomorrow to change it? Pursue something you're passionate about, and really pursue it. A job may not be sitting on your doorstep when you graduate. College doesn't last forever, so I understand when students would rather spend their summers with friends or hang out with their roommates this weekend as opposed to "working," but if said work is something you enjoy, then is it really "working?" Sure you could go on a vacation all summer, but maybe an internship with an amazing company isn't a bad idea, because if you love the work, the rest of your life will seem like a vacation.

Know that this is coming from an ex-student who cherished a lot of time with her friends and devoted no time to herself. A person who was willing to wait for opportunity to come knocking at her door. A girl who shot for less than her dreams, because, well, something's better than nothing, right?

This year off has really woke me up. I can't expect other people to pave out what I want in my life, I'm the only one in control of that. I can't wait, and wish, and hope, and dream - I have to pursue, and act, and aspire, and succeed! I can, and I will.

For once, I am excited about my future and I am ready to grow up.

xoxo erikah